After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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