the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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