i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
