apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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