Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize