It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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