You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
