You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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