my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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