I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
