dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
