He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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