im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
