no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
