so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
worst night to have a conscience
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
