Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
