i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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