I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
