guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
