Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
