he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
