If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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