Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize