I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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