i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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