I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
