i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
