we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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