She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
