Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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