What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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