I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
