I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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