You work out of a Hotel?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts