The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
