Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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