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• (586): View more from Michigan

  In the future we'll all be gay

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Di me a solid and hit me with your car.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Are you still goin to the xmas party?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yaaaa why?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?

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• (518): View more from New York

  Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face

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• (518): View more from New York

  Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?

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