Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.

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(214): View more from Texas

Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

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(804): View more from Virginia

there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!

(1-804): View more from Virginia

Wait are they playing beer pong to?

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(251): View more from Alabama

Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless

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(714): View more from California

im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...

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(315): View more from New York

Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.

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