Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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