Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
