Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize