The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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