I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
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Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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