I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
