just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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