my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
