His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
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its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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