It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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