dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
