i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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