She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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