I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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