i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
