I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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