I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
