I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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