Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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