I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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