3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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