she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
