Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
