Someone shit on the floor
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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