I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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