I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
