my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
