It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
