Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
