I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
