Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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